You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dear god my vagina.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
