Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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