Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
