Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
