quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
