I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
