Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
