if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
