dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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