I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
