Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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