wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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