Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
