I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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