I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
