come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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