By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
