So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You took a bar mat shot.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
