dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
