I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
