Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
