that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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