Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
