Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Randomize
