There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I can't turn off my feet"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
