i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
