honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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