we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
