Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
