I need help removing her.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
