Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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