I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
