you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
