that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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