i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
