you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
