she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
