Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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