the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
