it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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