he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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