Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
