I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
