I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
