Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
