You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
