Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Is it penis luge time yet?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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