Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I think I died a long time ago.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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