Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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