you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
