Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
