i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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