The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
