ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
