We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
